When I first checked into drug rehab, I didn’t know what to expect. I figured that I would have a really specialized counselor who could shed enlightenment upon me and generally open my eyes to a whole new world. I was expecting something like a psychologist — something like Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting. But, now that I’ve been through drug rehab, I can tell you that that’s not exactly what I got.
So, here’s my take on drug rehab counselors.
Drug rehab counselors are, first and foremost, very knowledgeable about drug and alcohol abuse. Without exception they all have had serious drug and alcohol problems. They abused drugs to the point that they could no longer find any employment in their previous industry and, having no where else to turn, they became counselors. That’s not necessarily a knock, it’s more of a reality. And, I found the same to be true in managers of sober houses, but that’s a topic for another post.
So, getting back on track, imagine that you are a guitarist with a heavy drinking problem. After a few years of moderate (even major) success, you find your drinking and drugging is leading to many unwanted consequences. For instance, your attempts to sleep with your record label rep’s wife and your vomiting on the red carpet at the Grammy’s has caused your reputation to take a hit. After a while nobody will work with you. You sell one of your corvettes and that gets you by for six months but, pretty quickly, you realize you only have so many sports cars to sell.
You take a personal inventory and decide you know a lot about only a couple of things. Making bad ass music — but that’s not an option anymore. And getting clean and sober. The bills are mounting so you have to make a call. Presto! You become a drug rehab counselor. It’s that old familiar story.
As a person going into drug rehab you’re probably expecting a certain level of professionalism. You’re probably thinking that you’re going to be dealing with highly insightful, highly trained experts. You might even think that it takes a tremendous amount of training to become a drug counselor. After all, these folks are going to have to conduct psycho-educational lectures, manage group therapy sessions, provide one-on-one counseling, and generally save the lives of their clients. You must need a PhD for that, right?
Unfortunately, you do not. What you do need is to become a licensed chemical dependency counselor which is basically the bottom-feeder of the mental health profession. In the state that I live in (Texas) the requirements to become an LCDC are pretty uncomplicated.
You need:
- An associate’s degree or higher
- Complete 4,000 hours of work with a chemically dependent person
- Get two letters of recommendation
- Pass the exam
- Send in $65
Basically, if you are a former drunk or addict, you probably know only a couple of things really well. One of those things is, to be sure, how to get clean and sober. But you probably do not have a solid educational footing (after all they were drunk and high through school), your social intelligence quotient might be lacking (hey, they drank for a reason) and you probably do not have a lot of marketable skills (there’s a reason that you are working for $40k a year). Take it for what it is.
Is this to say that drug rehab counselors are bad people? No! They almost always know how to stay clean and sober which, of course, is job one. And I don’t bash them to say that they suck. I’m sure there are some good ones out there. I bash them only to point out if you expect to find a drug counselor who is going to speak to your soul or change your life, I gotta tell ya, prepare to be disappointed.
Finally, I will say, that drug rehab counselors, without question, are some of the best depositories of crazy drinking and drugging stories you will ever come across. And that should count for something.